What's the Big Idea? Rea L. Ginsberg, LCSW-C, ACSW, BCD
"Life is fleeting and fragile... Leave no words unsaid..." Monica Williams-Murphy, MD, It's OK to Die
You promised to stay forever but it’s not working out. What’s the big idea?
You are planning to leave without permission. What’s the big idea?
Your departure is inconvenient for us, every one. What’s the big idea?
Timing matters in relationships where love lives. Your timing is off by days and years. What’s the big idea?
Perhaps you’re saying hello when we awaited goodbyes. Strange moments, out of place. What’s the big idea?
You’re confusing everyone with your endurance and delays, Up’s and downs, for better for worse. What’s the big idea?
Your determination baffles even the most astute observers. What’s the big idea?
If you must go, just go, let go, just do it – gently. We’re as ready as love will ever allow – never all together. What’s the big idea?
The end seems endless, causing hardship for us. What’s the big idea?
Anger, guilt, fear: sometimes you bring them out. What’s the big idea?
They feel like insults to your life and ours – Unintended, unexpected, intruders at the very end. That can’t be the big idea, can it?
Like Icarus, this flight is too close to the flame. What’s the risky idea?
The conclusion is compelling: it’s your fault. Is that the liberating idea?
Your fault? Is it? Or the unthinkable: maybe it’s our fault! Storytelling from the mirror's image. Is it a fault at all? What really IS the big idea?
Perhaps we don’t yet fully understand the biopsychology of the dying. That’s a big idea.
Each of us has our own timelines for concerns at the end of life. They are unique, distinctive, precious, and memorable. That’s the big, ancient idea.
Others are required to respect those timelines, no matter how hard. It is a moral obligation, an ethical force, a deep social requisite. That’s the big ideal.
Change is so difficult, and you ask us to do it now and do it well. That’s the urgent and stressful idea.
We can travel with greater confidence if we have a map of mourning. That's an orderly, organizing, calming idea.
Love is bigger and stronger than death. A little light will drive away darkness. A smile eases heartache. Kindness reverberates. A generous deed generates others. Those are reassuring ideas, high points on the mourning map.
Loss brings permanent life-change to the survivors, a clearly new normal. That’s a disruptive idea.
Making space to be alone, to discover the vanished time present inside, To breach the perceived barrier of death, That's the intense idea, the mind's intuitive design.
Insight and self-awareness are necessary in our letting you go. That’s the formidable idea.
Quietly giving voice to moments of joyful possibility. That's a surprising idea - the paradox of grief. Grow!
Death is the end of a life. It is not the end of a relationship; So, in this way, life outlives death. That’s the big idea. Remember it. Hold it close. Take pictures.
Weep. Don’t stifle the tears. Release is OK. Talk to other people / we need others. That’s a good idea. They are lifelines.
They bring us back from sensed isolation, into the world of the living, To reconstruct life's purposefulness. That's a rich, refreshing idea.
Death is banned forever from eternity. It will never come again. That idea is simple and profound.
Faith in our own resilience is mandatory, no matter the depth of grief. Hope, with reasonable justification that what is wanted can be had: That is a big idea.
We are not defeated by death; we are ultimately strengthened and renewed. We can experience positive growth even after trauma, severe anxiety, emotional distress. That must be the Big Idea,
Every time, without exception, unfailingly, invariably, with dignity and grace
The big idea.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Sunrise paddle boat.
Boatmen accompany the body into the afterlife, All the way, According to ancient Egyptian ritual; The BIG IDEA.
“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted, but mostly they're darked. But mostly they're darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?” ― Theodor S. Geisel