This shoe is designed to anticipate performance and the needs of athletes. The self-lacing feature is called “adaptive lacing.” Athletic shoe designer Tinker Hatfield says, “The potential of adaptive lacing for the athlete is huge, as it would provide tailored-to-the-moment custom fit. It is amazing to consider a shoe that senses what the body needs in real-time. That eliminates a multitude of distractions, including mental attrition, and thus truly benefits performance…. Wouldn’t it be great if a shoe, in the future, could sense when you needed to have it tighter or looser? Could it take you even tighter than you’d normally go if it senses you really need extra snugness in a quick maneuver? That’s where we’re headed. In the future, product will come alive.” 
While Nike prepares for its athletes, we have other, additional thoughts. For many individuals with disabilities, the future is coming alive Now. Lacing and tying shoes are major challenges for people with a variety of handicaps. Even those with moderate-to-advanced dementia could well benefit from this kind of shoe that simply (or not so simply!) laces/ties itself. Think of people with finger, hand, wrist, elbow, arm, or shoulder restrictions. Think of those who, for various reasons, cannot bend far enough to reach their feet. Think also of some with mental illnesses.
We know that Nike, Inc. is a large, prosperous retailer, a company with vast international reach. It is the world’s largest footwear seller. It displays fine research, product innovation, futuristic plans and futures orders, and attractive growth opportunities. Its distinctive name and “swoosh” logo are recognized and admired worldwide. It is strongly favored by the financial investments community. It sports a hefty market capitalization of $107.60 billion. It is number 106 on the Fortune 500 list of companies for year 2015. 
We know that Nike’s products are often on the rather expensive side, in part because of the famous brand name. Some people in need of these particular shoes might also need cost relief. So we have to wonder if this big, rich, revered company might be willing to discount various items (like the self-lacing shoes) – sometimes and with good, proven reasons, of course. These would be discounts for certain people with special footwear needs and documented, means-tested insufficient income to purchase Nike self-lacing shoes. Big companies do know how to meet their socially ethical obligations.
Or perhaps we could entice the health insurance industry to explore the possibility of covering all, or part of, the cost of the shoes, provided that the shoes are declared a medical necessity. In this case, we would probably first need a physician’s prescription for the shoes.
We fully expect that possession of these necessary shoes will contribute to the needy individual’s sense of psychological wellbeing. We also know that psychological wellbeing is a vital factor in promoting good physical health. Better mental health can lessen the risk of diseases and promote longevity. And this, in turn, would reduce the longer-term cost of medical care.  Cost of care is always a priority consideration in our funding-conscious society.
The self-lacing shoe is like a dream come true. Certain groups of people stand to benefit hugely, far beyond athletics.  What a gift of independence and self-confidence, first cousins of self-respect and personal dignity, forerunners of Hope! 
…shoes are the most important. Good shoes take you good places. -- Seo Min Hyun
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, But people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
We are often asked, “How can you do that?” How can you stand to do that work? Such a dreary subject. Grim but supposedly necessary. Don’t you get depressed with all the talk of dying? Facing death and its consequences every day must be the prime route to burnout. Are mental disorders prevalent among grief counselors? Aren’t you afraid all the talk of dying will make you a little crazy? Don’t you find it frightening, talking about death and dying all the time? Don’t you want some joy in your life? Do something else, anything that doesn’t relate to death.
What were they thinking? Grief counselors seem to have a mournful reputation.
Let’s re-view. Look below the surface. Our society does not like pain in general. We do not appreciate it. We do not want confrontations with it. We have a national aversion to it. We are busy developing a pill or procedure for every manner of pain, physical and psychic. If it hurts, then by definition it is bad and requires fixing. We are determined to find a surefire anti-aging formula that will also extend our lives forever. Cryogenics? Yes. It shows promise. Really intriguing, actually very exciting, but it is not yet ready for wide use. It could be a future plan. Think forward to pain-free existence. But when?
In our society, death is a painful subject for the patient and for the family. It is an unacceptable outcome of care, health care. We don’t like it. We are inclined to do everything possible to avoid it, even when the alternatives bring far worse health and increased suffering to the patient. Overall, we still prefer to avoid and deny death in our national and personal conversations. Let’s change the subject and be happy. After all, in our American tradition we are entitled to happiness – plus life and liberty. In our attitude, we presume to live forever. It is just easier that way. Finding the easiest way is our American goal. No pain, no awkward planning, no scary discussions, no sad thoughts about loss. We like to live in a wish-fulfillment bubble, a place where death does not happen. Not to ourselves, not to those we love. No talk of tears and fears and sorrow.
The only trouble is that a pain-free life is impossible. For all our pushback and passionate hopefulness, the search is in vain. Pain is inevitable in every human life. Like it or not, wish against it or not, there it is. Pain waits patiently and outlasts our resistance. It is a fundamental fact of life. Death is also a fact of life, a fact until further notice. Significant loss occurs in every life. Death occurs to every life. Death hurts. It causes grief. There is yet no pill to make it go away. Maybe there should not be such a pill. Enter: the supportive grief counselor.
Survivors need interpersonal help and healing. Usually, friends and family do the job. The path is painful and also lonely at times. Sometimes, a professional counselor is just the right remedy. He is prepared to be a companion for a time, along the way to reconstructed balance and equilibrium. Along the way to adjustment. He is equipped to hear the hurt and lighten the load. In a hurry-up, get-over-it society, the grief counselor is a safe harbor in the mourning storm. His focus is not time. It is not a predetermined schedule. It is not a deadline for completion. His focus is connection, understanding, and support. It is helping the survivor to feel comforted because someone who knows grief is actively listening. The center of his attention is less advice and more the not-so-simple act of being with the survivor, to facilitate self-rediscovery and restore dignity.
Psychologist J. William Worden writes, “When unanticipated or incongruous events such as the death of a loved one occur, a person needs to redefine the self and relearn ways to engage with the world without the deceased. The person cannot return to a pre-loss level of functioning but learns how to develop a meaningful life without the deceased loved one.…Death can challenge one’s assumptions about the world (spiritual adjustments) and one’s personal identity (internal adjustments).”1
The power to heal psychic wounds is rare and precious. Few people have this skill. It is needed. It is a service. It becomes a moral obligation for those who have that power. To have it is to take pleasure in exercising it. To have it and withhold it is unethical. It is contrary to conscience. It defies accepted standards of professional behavior. It is also unhealthy because there is nothing more important in life than human connection. To assist the progress of connection provides further integrity and growth to the facilitator. The grief counselor is rewarded in greater wholeness, in life lessons studied, learned, and integrated. Death is not an enemy. It is a creative disrupter. It is one of our most profound and valuable teachers. It is life-affirming. It is our gateway to meaningful and vigorous life.
Emergency physician Monica Williams-Murphy comments similarly, from a slightly different perspective: “What human would rob another of the most touching and beautiful moments of life?.…Death…allows us to cherish both life and time more fully.”2
Dreary? Depressing? What were they thinking…?
1. J. William Worden, PhD, “Introduction,” Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, fourth edition, New York: Springer Publishing Company, 2009.
The moment we cease to hold each other, The moment we break faith with one another, The sea engulfs us and the light goes out. -- James Baldwin
My town is on fire. Spreading now to Washington D.C., New York City, Minneapolis, Philadelphia. No wonder. This is not just a Baltimore problem. This is a USA problem. This is a worldwide problem.
Long ago, I worked in those inflamed communities. I worked there for a year, 1966-67. When Dr. King was murdered in 1968 (he was 39 years old then), we set up a phone bank at the School of Social Work and tried to bring families and friends back together. The rioting was so ferocious and disorienting that people got lost in it! Urban agony and “the fierce urgency of now.”
One of my assignments focused on a cluster of public welfare individual homes. Society named it “the projects.” The community was isolated, far from view by most Baltimoreans. Clearly planned residential segregation. Out of sight and mostly out of mind - invisible, inaudible, and denied - as local government designed and desired. Despite the Civil Rights Act of 1964, racial segregation was entirely alive and very active. The homes were built next to long-haul railroad tracks that ran flat on the ground. There were no barriers to protect the residents from stepping onto the tracks and into train traffic. No fence, no bars or walls, no inclines or gates, no barricade against bloody disaster. WHY.
In the beginning, when I walked the streets in those impoverished neighborhoods, I was somewhat apprehensive. Much had been said about crime and substance abuse, alcoholism. But soon I noticed that the residents had embraced my presence. Wherever I walked, people watched me from their windows to see that I was safe. They nodded and gave a brief wave as I passed by, as if to say, “Don’t worry. We’ve got your back.” So, after a short time of acquaintance, my tension eased, and I could give full concentration to my job.
We called it “a voice for the voiceless.” I tried to find more money and work and child care for families. I found medical care for some. I wanted to turn a blind eye to fathers who lived with their families because the "Aid to Families with Dependent Children" (AFDC) law never made sense to me. (Families could not receive welfare funds if the father lived in the home! What self-evident nonsense! Does it really take a genius to see the obvious?) Here was an offensive and cruel paradox. First we passed a law that only broken families could receive financial aid. Many caring fathers - those who couldn’t find jobs or sufficient pay - left home in order to qualify their families for this assistance. Then came the “news” that broken families were a serious national socioeconomic problem, perhaps even requiring Federal government intervention for remediation.
I grew devoted to the people and committed to the job of righting wrongs. At the same time, I noticed that those outside the welfare communities disrespected the social workers who worked inside them. Society viewed the public welfare social worker and her low-income clients with almost equal contempt. So open was societal scorn. All of us, workers and clients, were vilified as incompetent loafers – or worse. It was a further confirmation of intractable, unmanageable discrimination. I don’t know why I was surprised by this, but I was…and this is still true, and I am still appalled and dismayed. The conscience of our country is put to shame. Is there indeed nothing new under the sun, I sometimes wonder…?
We can change what people do and what they say, but we cannot always or easily change how they feel. (We know it is possible, though.)
Racism is a thing of misery on every side! It is mind-bending. We can hardly imagine it if we haven’t experienced it. I used to dream of ending the poverty and anguish I saw there, the profound societal disrespect that seeped deeply into the souls of my low-income clients. Those inner souls would scream, “I’m a person, too!” It was a poignant protest against the unendurable: annihilation of the Self. They hated the wider world that so totally despised and rejected them, and they hated themselves especially. Rage turned inward – there is often no other place to safely direct so much intense feeling…until its periodic explosion in riots…during which the rioters also trash, burn and otherwise violate their own neighborhoods.
Self-loathing. It is a learned reflection. It mirrors society’s disposition: disposable sub-human. It is a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad disease. It says life is cheap, and any behavior eventually becomes OK because “my life doesn’t matter.” Baldwin wrote that “the most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.” In other words, we were - and still are - effectively “radicalizing” whole groups of our own citizens, right here inside the USA. Some kids talked about “if I grow up,” not “when I grow up.” They were afraid of dying young, by senseless violence not of their own invention. The boys would join gangs to make themselves strong against society’s hate and an early death. The girls often had babies so that something precious and beautiful, of their own making, actually belonged only to themselves.
In his 1951 poem, “Harlem,” Langston Hughes warned the country this way:
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore-- And then run? Does it stink Like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over-- Like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags Like a heavy load. Or does it explode?
Racism is toxic. Its consequences are poison to the racist himself, the injured, their communities, and the entire nation. Sometimes I was overwhelmed by what I saw. I always imagined myself in others’ place. It was a suffocating, paralyzing and helpless feeling, desperation, with no visible and assured escape hatch. I dreamed of ending that anguish. That was 50 years ago. I am still dreaming...
Baltimore is on fire, but this is not only a Baltimore problem. Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, PhD sociologist and a U.S. Dept. of Labor assistant secretary at the time, knew it 50 years ago and wrote about it in what became known as the Moynihan Report, “The Negro Family: The Case for National Action,” 1965. The next year, it was required reading in our social science classes. He reported on socioeconomic issues for black Americans, issues of discrimination, social inequality, and limited opportunity. He argued in favor of government intervention for improvement: job programs, vocational training, educational programs and more. I am not sure 50 years have changed us very much in this requisite regard. We might need a contemporary, dedicated Moynihan to move our mountain of moral misdeeds. Or maybe we already have one such mover in our midst: our president – community organizer, lawyer, orator and author, biracial, Nobel Peace Prize laureate, experienced politician, man of influence and high connections – in his post-term years. We don’t know that yet.
I wish my dream would come true before I die, but wishing doesn't make it so. Neither does walking the streets. The one-by-one approach alone will never end the problems. They are too big and too complicated. A one-track answer won’t work. Much must be done. Laws should be a large part of the response, sensible national/Federal legislation. Positive government action. Over time, laws can change feelings, too. We know that because we have seen it. Maybe the new Attorney General of the U.S. can help... Maybe someday soon, Congress will return to functional sanity… Maybe the Supreme Court can help, if the justices are open-minded… Maybe we should revisit the Moynihan Report and commit ourselves to further exploring his suggestions. Education is most certainly one useful answer for good growth and change… Maybe a double dose of ongoing self-examination and compassionate whole-life partnerships would help us all. If that doesn’t work, increase the dose… Maybe all of this and then some… It could happen.
My dream may be deferred, but it is unbroken. Hope never stopped at all. Hope. A powerful force. Only with hope can we sustain the motivation to forge ahead. I found it in the most unlikely places – on the side streets of Baltimore. It was a lifetime gift donation from all my clients who refused to give up.
One of the most inspiring creations of any society is the person who has nothing to give but kindness, care for others, and hope.
There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights….One day this nation will rise up, live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.” -- Martin Luther King, Jr., May 28, 1963, On the steps of the Lincoln Memorial In Washington, D.C.
You must be the change you want to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi
Tags: riots, racism, poverty, self-hate, change, legislation, education, partnership, hope * * * Rea Ginsberg is a retired director of social work services, hospice coordinator, and adjunct professor of clinical social work.
“You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted, but mostly they're darked. But mostly they're darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?” ― Theodor S. Geisel